The power of hindsight



If parents could have a superpower I'd choose to have the power of hindsight. 

At the same time we were figuring out the sensory issues with Sophia, Kira was also exhibiting her own individual issues, which were completely different and some are lesser known autistic traits. 

The cdc assessors who came over to us for Sophia, in fact informed us that both girls were clearly on the spectrum. We had dropped a juggling ball and not realised. We were automatically helping Kira with coping mechanisms and were so focused on keeping her safe, we didn't think of any over riding condition. 

Kira has had two stims, rocking and spinning which started shortly after she could sit up. I thought it was so cute she'd rock back and forth....

This post will raise awareness in the common rocking stim. 

Soon after Kira started to rock back and forth, she would deliberately choose to sit by a fridge or a wall and head bang as she rocked back and forth. I started moving her away from the walls, however she would soon return. I would then sit with her and have my hand behind her head, so she would be smacking my knuckles into the wall, and not her head. She really did not appreciate my efforts and it took some time before she would accept that she wasn't going to win this one. 

Once she started to accept this, and rocked less violently in the direction of the wall, I moved her to a high backed, stuffed, comfy sofa chair and encouraged her to rock on there rather than be sat on the floor. She loved it and that's what she still does four years later. 

She uses rocking to convey different moods and emotions. She rocks back and forth on her feet when she's anxious and her finger is usually wagging at the side. She rocks back and forth on the chair very fiercely and rhythmically when she's enjoying music or a show, or learning. 

We have given her a couple of outlets for her to channel the rocking. She has had her own music playlist for over a year now and she rocks out to the music rocking very intensely with her eyes shut. Her need is met in this scenerio. This means that when she's out in public or during the day in general she doesn't rock constantly like she used too. She rocks to music or whenever she's learning.

She's never restricted from her rocking, she can do it whenever and wherever she wishes, however we have given her the tools to manage the need, without her needing to mask in public and suppress that urge, thinking its wrong/different/not allowed outside the house. 

As a teenager etc she will most likely have earphones listening to music when out, so if she needs to rock or sway it will be less noticeable, as she will associate the rocking with music. Currently we also encourage playing on swings as much as possible to satisfy her need when out at the playgound. 

In this picture, using the swing in this way meets her need to stim, however to an outside eye, it's doubtful you'd notice. It's still not great that we have to mask the activity if you will, from the stares and questions, but she's not masking mentally, which protects her mind. She gets to play with other children at the playground and then have a swing in between if she's feeling the need to reset herself and no one else is any the wiser.


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