Sensory issues within autism

This is my reflection on how sensory issues can affect early childhood.  

Sophia has hated being dirty all her life, from a baby she'd scream particularly loudly and vehemently with each dirty nappy. If any food landed on her hands or clothes during the weaning stage she would get incredibly upset to the point the meal would be finished for her. 

As she was my eldest and I didn't have a comparison I was initially unsure how much this was to be expected with any child. I thought as a general rule that children loved to be messy, so I believed that once she was old enough for arts and crafts she would be as happy as Larry. 

I couldn't have been more wrong. I only tried clay and paint handprints once with her and  she was so upset we have not tried again. It's not a necessary part of life. However it became apparent she was terrified of just water (baths had always been problematic), but even playing in water was a massive issue for her. She refused paint, felt tips, glue playdoh, and chalks for a least a year and it has been a slow journey for her over the past five years. She has worked so hard to overcome her fears of being dirty and can either tolerate or even really enjoy all of the above activities now. 

It was very telling when Kira was born and growing up close behind her sister, there was a stark difference between them in this aspect. She has no qualms being dirty and gets fully involved. 

I have worked with Sophia for years building her up slowly, starting with messy foods, a water table and towel, followed by playdoh, then chalk, glue and finally paint. She was always in control and had full autonomy over how the activity went, she'd be armed with a pack of wipes. 

She would initially almost have a panic attack over any messy mark on her skin, immediately scrubbing at the offending area. If it was the table or clothes they would have to be washed and changed before the activity continued. She paints only via a paintbrush. When she started writing and she would get grey rubbings in her fingers that would be a trip to the bathroom to clean her hands between each word. 

The other day she tentatively stood on the sidelines whilst the other two literally rolled around in a muddy puddle in the garden. This is huge progress, she was laughing at them, but remained wary as her shoes and socks were caked with mud, with little splashes in her dress. She deliberately kept her hands clean but she was in control, didn't get visably upset or ask for any cleaning aids. She was the first one in to be cleaned off a which is understandable. As I helped her clean up, I asked her how does she feel when she's dirty and she was able to express to me that she 'really doesn't like it and feels sad and mad when she's dirty'. She washed the French windows the next day after the other two had created mud paintings on them, for the same reason. She was so happy with her warm soapy water and a sponge, making the windows shine again. 

This is a common aspect to autism, it doesn't make childhood particularly easy. It made playgroup hard work for her, as nearly every activity either was messy play or socialisation based, which naturally she struggled with as well. She has auditory sensory issues, she's partly deaf, but also finds loud overwhelming noises hard to process and cope with, so the music sessions were not appreciated either. 

In the early years the social groups I took her too, including rhyme time, playgroups and mother and baby groups were actually torture for her, due to her autism. I feel incredibly guilty that I kept trying her with different groups at the time, thinking they were the best places for her, without realising the underlying issues for her. Parental hindsight is 20/20 for every parent!

This did ease however, we took a break from these groups while we worked on accepting the messy play and then when I reintroduced her back to this world she was a lot happier within her constraints of needing the wipes with her etc. However she was also a very happy observer this time round, where the first time she was just upset and stressed. She has very happy memories now of playgroups thank goodness. It's certainly not easy to navigate the early years when they have sensory/learning issues, but slow and steady progress is the key. 

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